Make the purpose clear
Is the chat for the whole class, an activity or a smaller friendship group? A clear purpose makes it easier to decide who to invite and what belongs there. Avoid calling a group the class chat while deliberately keeping some classmates out.
Plans about homework, trips or birthdays should also reach people who do not use the chat. Adults can help arrange a shared channel for practical messages. Keeping track of who might miss information should not fall to one child.
Nobody owes an immediate reply
Choose a few agreements the group can remember: Ask before sharing someone’s photo, do not add people without asking, and do not repeat a message to demand a reply. A read receipt does not tell you whether someone has time or wants to respond.
Agree when the chat takes a break and show your child how to mute notifications in that service. They can put the phone away, play sport, see people or sleep without having to justify their absence to the group afterwards.
When a joke hurts someone
Look at what the message does to the person. Repeated name-calling, humiliating pictures and exclusion can be bullying even when someone calls it a joke. Do not forward the content or add a laughing reaction. You could privately message the person: I saw that. Would you like help?
If your child sent something hurtful, help them take responsibility: Stop sharing it, put right what can be put right, and give a specific apology without demanding forgiveness. A child can get help to change their behaviour without being treated as a bad person.
Get help when it continues
Your child should not have to solve bullying alone. Talk to an adult and involve the school if the conflict concerns classmates. Note the platform, usernames and times. Save relevant messages with an adult’s help, but do not forward intimate images as evidence.
Report content to the service and use blocking if it helps stop contact. In Denmark, SletDet provides advice about online abuse; elsewhere, seek local specialist support. Leaving a chat can provide a break, but adults still need to help address the problem within the group.